FINAL PORTRAIT SELECTION

I decided to re shoot my original self portraits, however the results weren't as good as I wanted them to be. So I decided to work with what I had.

Equipment:
Nikon D90
Nikon 50mm lens

I decided to use the photo I felt represented my identity the most, which I thought was the picture displayed below.

Lines

I just enjoy this piece a lot, I like the framing, depth of field, colour and lighting a lot. I feel it represents me as a person in a lot of ways. Exposing myself to the camera, I am constantly having to scrutinize my own body. But through doing that I began to appreciate what I have been given as a person.

I have always found it hard to identify myself exactly as a person, as I feel everyone does. But I am just trying to not put myself in a box by labelling myself, rather just embracing what I like and don't like, then figuring it out from there. However, I have drawn on previous experiences and tried to reflect them through my photograph. Through this piece of work I have gone on a personal journey of discovery, to realise within myself that you don't have to let the things you have been through define you, but rather leave them in the past and learn that you are more than the struggles you have been through, and don't be afraid to embrace it and be proud that you survived,  I hope I have displayed this to you.

I hope you enjoy. Thank you

TUNGSTEN LIGHTS AND GREEN SCREEN

Today we had the privilege to have a whole day in the huge green screen studio.

Life's a Beach

We got to set up a green screen set, complete with a background to edit in in post production. Here was the set pictured right. I enjoy green screen a lot because of how versatile it makes one room. Just with a few lights and a green screen you can be anywhere you want. As having experience in green screen work this was a chance to explore more into green screens and getting the technique correct. lighting the background we used two lights, although I normally use three point lighting, we managed a very well and evenly lit background. We then had to light our actors and to also adjust the lighting on them so they would suit the background we would be putting in place in post production. They were going to be at a beach, so we had a spot light which replicated the sun and as it was a sunny day in the background we didn't have to do too much alterations to the brightness.

Leading Light 

In the morning we got to experiment with the beautiful Tungsten lights, being so interested in lights this was such an incredible opportunity. You can have such control over the mood, time of day and period just with lighting. We got in to our production groups and experimented with different shadows and highlights. Over the next few hours we found some really beautifully composed scenes just using this light, showing sadness, happiness, and suspicion. I thoroughly enjoyed this task as it was so hands on and could see the results of your hard work from directing the model and the light. I particularly enjoyed creating half shadows and silhouettes across the face, by having the model sat forwards, and the light at a 45 or 90 degree angle with the camera just underneath.

Black Jack

After this activity, we got in to bigger groups to create a moody, film noir scene of a poker game in a shady looking room. We weren't allowed to use sound so had to create this atmosphere just using lighting. We were able to find an over hanging light and rigged it to the lighting rig above us to hang over the table like in the image to the right:
We then had a main camera facing the card dealer, a second camera to the right of the card players so you could see them both, and then a third camera which was handheld so we could get some close up shots of the players cards, hands and expressions.

I hope you enjoy. Thank you.

DANCE RUSHES

Today we explored Premier Pro further, and we were given some second year dance rushes, that they shot last year. There was a mixture of hand held shots and some on a tripod. Most of the rushes they had the lights on, but a few were shot in the dark with just a spotlight across the floor.

I was interested in the dark shots the most, as I wanted to see what I could do with low light and lots of shadows. I looked through all the footage,and selected which rushes I wanted to work with and manipulate. As there were so many rushes, a lot of the files were shot on different cameras so the quality fluctuated and to eliminate any traces of this I only used the high quality ones.

I chose my song because of the rhythm it had to it, making it fun and interesting to edit to. The beat fluctuated throughout the song so I thought that it could be a challenge, I am quite familiar with Premier Pro, however this edit took me a while to complete because being a perfectionist I restarted the project quite a few times. Overall I am sort of happy with it, but I wish I could have done better.

Here is the finished piece:

I hope you enjoy. Thank you.

SELF PORTRAITS TEST SHOTS

With my portrait research I have explored the celebration of the female form. Both the photographers embraced the female as it was, baring all for the camera to pick up. This idea intrigued me, as I wondered how I could explore my form in front of the camera using lighting, framing and a good choice in lens.

For these tester shots I used a Nikon 50mm lens on a Nikon D90. I have a particular soft spot for this camera, as I like all the settings and how much control you have from white balance to shutter speed. I felt a 50mm lens was appropriate for this tester shoot because I wanted that shallow depth of field and intense detail on my skin. Overall I wasn't all that happy with the shoot. I felt I should have selected a better backdrop and framing. These factors I feel let the self portraits down. However, I felt the lighting ( I hasten to add is natural) I particularly love especially working with such pale skin I have. I was pleased with the lighting on my skin and how it created a slight darkness in the backdrop.

The task for the portrait was to explore identity and I feel that I am aware of my identity quite well having to face it everyday and try and find out who I am. I have on going mental health problems that also affect my body and what I do to it. I tried to display this through the next three photos.

Lines

 In the first portrait I chose to show some faded scars that have been an aftermath of some mental health issues I suffer with. Because they are faded I chose to feel positive about them healing instead of negative. The framing I personally like because of how much I chose to fill the frame and give you almost nothing else to look at but my skin and I feel a lot of empowerment through this. However the backdrop I don't like as it isn't as smooth as I wanted it. Previously I used to let these factors of my life define me, from my scars, mental health, appearance and weight. However, now I am making progress recovering I now view them as only a small factor of my identity but a still very important one nonetheless.

Untitled

For this second portrait, I am incredibly pleased with the lighting, despite it being natural and therefore out of my control I do really like the colours and dark tones. I chose a different angle on identity and explored the female form in a sexual way. Struggling a lot with self image and self worth I always felt not worthy of happiness or intimacy with someone. So exploring my struggles through this photo has been a challenge. I chose to reveal some more skin than just my thigh and the framing of the photo is carefully done so i'm not being too revealing but implying what the photos main focus is. The idea that the female form is so frowned upon for being explicitly displayed yet people wanting to view it.

Rise

In this last portrait, I wanted to explore my struggles with an eating disorder I have recovered from, but still have struggles with. With this portrait I love the shadows and highlights that touch my skin, displaying almost a glow on my stomach, but shadows where the dips of my skin and bone are. I wanted to display a very subtle message of the eating struggles, as I have struggled to gain weight all my life. But with the highlights and shadows encourage me to embrace my body instead of shaming and hurting it.

I feel I have identified myself an incredible amount through these three photos, through this self portrait project it has helped me to explore the use of lenses and framing. But, also a personal exploration of myself and learning that my form and the human form is all so different, unique and everyone has things they don't like, but to just try and embrace it and learn to love the skin you are in. Suffering with mental health for so long has made me believe that i'm not worthy of so many things, and has stopped me discovering myself. Having to face up to these self portraits and analyse them has been an incredibly empowering journey for me, I felt it may be hard to photograph myself and then analyse them with the harsh, negative view I have for myself, but the process of these self portraits has aided my self worth a great deal. I feel now, currently looking at these photos that we have to move on from our past, accept what we have been given and move on into the future to greater things.

I hope you enjoy. Thank you.

PORTRAIT REVIEW

After doing extensive research into photographers in which I admired their style; I decided to get a studio and try to shoot my own.

The photographers I chose to explore celebrated the female form, and motherhood through series of self portraits. I am a great believer in embracing who you are and recording your life in whatever way you chose. For my portrait, I decided to explore sexuality and how us as humans embrace and celebrate it. To pick my model I had to decide what kind of portrait I wanted to achieve, weather it be a stereotypical depiction of sexuality, or more subtle. In the end I chose Ciara, who I know and is open about her sexuality as a lesbian. As I am aware how open Ciara was about her identity, I really wanted to capture the rawness of her happiness, and try as best as I could to portray through my portrait how comfortable Ciara is within herself.

The shoot itself was exciting as getting to grips with the lights again after the workshop was great fun. Using the cameras, triggers, lights and light readers is all so hands on and exciting as it really prepares us for the future if we enter a studio environment. I gave Ciara some direction in what I wanted the portrait to come out as, but after that I just chatted with Ciara and whenever I thought i could capture a euphoric or happy moment in her face i clicked the shutter.

Just Laugh

Giggles

Here are two examples of some photos I took during the shoot. Even though these weren't the portrait I have chosen I still adore them very much. When composing my portrait I thought quite hard about lighting, expression and framing. I wanted the background to be just white, to show the purity of what I am trying to portray through my portrait. Most of the shots I took, Ciara was in the middle or a little to the left, I selected these positions because; using the rule of thirds I can subconsciously control where the audience is first drawn to. Being central in the frame instantly draws you in. However, move the model a slight to the right and you seem to have a different perspective on the peace. A sort of more 'candid' shot with the portrait not feeling as staged as it is.

Cheese

 Pictured above is my favourite portrait. I believe when I look at this piece I see a person who is very comfortable within their identity, showing pure joy and happiness across their face. The framing in this photo is exactly how I would like it, just a little off the centre becoming more natural than a sat down point and shoot portrait. The models facial expression and eye level really capture what I wanted, with looking slightly to the side almost reminiscing, or reacting to something funny without a care in the world.

I hope you enjoy. Thank you.