FINAL SELECTED PORTRAITS: FIORIRE

Here are my final portraits for the Identity series: 

Stripe

Mint

Time 

Quiet

My motivation for this series of portraits was quite simple. I adore the look of skin on camera, capturing it in just the right light to make it look so soft and beautiful. I also wanted to capture my relationship between my partner and I. I wanted to show our intimate moments together without it being sexual and just with very carefully selected lighting. I chose to only shoot between four hours of the day (10am-2pm) to achieve the soft light I achieved in my photos. Also having a photo of my partner and I individually I wanted to show that we are individuals too, and that we come together and a unit. My initial ideas we to shoot my pictures candid and just have my camera ready at any moment we were together. However, I wasn't getting fast enough results or what I really wanted, so Anne suggested that I stage the photos so I can control everything and make the appear candid. I decided to give this idea a go and my results were far better and was producing more work. I quite enjoyed controlling the seemingly candid photos as it meant I had full control of composure and lighting and this gave me satisfaction that the photo would turn out well. I wanted to highlight through post production the places in which our bodies come in to contact to enhance the senses of we we touched. 

For my research I wanted to find some work of a similar nature to mine and I looked in the book Auto Focus I found a series named My Little Dead Dick which was a collaborative piece between Patrick Tsai and Mdi Ju. The collection is simply gorgeous as they photograph their intimate time together. I was so inspired by their work I wanted to try and get a similar candid look with my photos. However, one strong difference between their work and mine is that they used film photography to create the beautiful saturated colours. I just loved seeing how strongly you could feel the intimacy in the photos without it having to be sexual. Another photographer I researched was Igor Prorrt. A friend of mine saw his work and recommended him to me, and specifically a series named Betelgeuse. Upon looking at his website filled with his work I fell in love. The lighting in his photographs was beautiful, so delicate but so soft and touching in the series. On reflection of these photos I learned and can see he used a lot of artificial lighting to create these wonderful shots, but I still adore them and their composure. For portraits they are quite unusually composed, he often has his face away from the camera and close ups of body parts with him and his partner. I liked the uniqueness to his work and took inspiration for my photos in composure and lighting.  

When shooting my photos there were some challenges, it wasn't all an easy ride. For instance, when photographing the picture of me in the bath I had to try and make sure you couldn't see the reflection of the camera in the side of the bath. I saw this as an issue and framed it so you couldn't see it. Also with the photo of my partner across my lap it was hard to take the photo as I was having to hold the camera from above and hope for the best, This meant we had to take multiple shots in order to get the framing exactly how I wanted it. For the portraits together brought new challenges. The photo in the bathroom I wanted to show there was a mirror behind us but not get the camera in reflection,so I had to frame this carefully and position us so we would block the camera's reflection. For the photo of us on the bed, I had to set the focus and desired framing with my partner in shot, then press the timer on my camera and run back into shot. This meant we had to take quite a lot of photos before I was happy with one, but it was worth it in the end. We also had to balance the camera on a radiator which was switched on so time was of the essence. I also had to settle on a name for the series and that brought new challenges because I felt I couldn't simply sum up the series with a title. However, I took my time thinking and researching and settled on naming the series Fiorire. Fiorire means to flourish or to blossom in Italian, and since I have Italian in me and in my family, I felt this was fitting and gave a new intimate level into my life and the series. 

In terms of post production techniques, I set out with the idea that I was going to select the places in which we came into contact with each other and alter the hue. I personally felt this would look good and give good results because it would draw the viewers eye to the colour change in parts of our body to make you think about the touch and contact we have, enhancing that feeling of intimacy. However upon doing this in PhotoShop I wasn't happy with the results as they ended up looking alien like and taking away the natural intimate feel to the photos, which is what I wanted in the first place. So I spoke to Anne and made the decision to submit the photos as they were as I felt happy with how they looked, manipulation free. 

Personally I have thoroughly enjoyed this portrait unit, I liked the freedom of producing more than one photo and how creative we were allowed to be. I feel there are many strengths in my series as I took a lot of time and hard work creating and selecting them. I made the decision to start taking photographs as soon as the brief was given to us, so this allowed me plenty of time to get the results I wanted without being under the pressure of time. I am also quite proud of my lighting too, I feel even though I am very strict with the times I shoot in the day it really does pay off for me. I see good consistent results by being very strict with my shooting routine. Also with starting to photograph in plenty of time this gave me more flexibility when it came to framing as I could dedicate the whole four hours to achieving one photo, so I could move slightly left or right and get it just perfect. Being a perfectionist I feel this is the way I should start working in future project so I have enough time to really perfect my work. I feel I achieved what I set about doing in my series from the beginning. I personally feel and see intimacy in my photos even if I was a viewer and not just the producer of the work. I feel you can see a connection between my partner and I that is intimate and loving without being too overpowering. However, there are always areas to develop on in any piece of work. I feel I could develop, explore or expand my series by trying out a whole shoot on film camera. As my initial photographer research was on a whole series just shot on 35mm film, I feel I could have done this and seen if my results looked as saturated and warm as the photos I researched. I have always been a bit afraid of photographing on film as you don't have the reassurance that you can check to see if the photo looks good. But I feel I should push myself more and try it out, even if all the results weren't what I wanted, at least I could show that I had tried. I am considering using just film cameras if we have another portrait series to really challenge my skills. 

Overall though I have learned so much from this unit of work, I have learned even more on composure through research into other photographers, I have explored and perfected my lighting through research and experimentation which will help me in any future photography.I have also realised the importance and significance in series of photos instead of just one and how it can tell a story and give the photographer and audience more space to explore running themes through the photos. I have also learned how to mount on foam board which I have never done, but will do again as the results give a beautiful finish to my work. 

I hope you enjoy. Thank you. 

THIRD TEST SHOOT

To wrap up my series ready for printing I decided to do one last shoot. For this shoot I had more of an aim than with the others, as I wanted a picture of me and my partner together, as I have selected two photos already one of each of us, I decided we needed a photo together to create a link to the two individual photos of us. I wrote down a list of scenarios I wanted to explore and create so we set aside a morning to try and complete them when the lighting was just how I wanted it.

In the first scenario I wanted us to be together doing something we enjoy together which is brushing our teeth. So we set the camera up in a few different ways and here are the results:

Clean

Mint

The first photo 'Clean' I took inspiration from my initial portrait research as they took a photo in a mirror together and it really worked. In the photo it still felt candid even though it was making you aware the camera was involved. So I tried to make that idea my own. I quite like it, I like the framing and the lighting a lot. I still feel it appears candid without the camera intruding on the intimacy. My only negative is that the mirror was still fogged up so it isn't as clear as I would have liked, but I could avoid this next time by waiting until it was clear. The second photo 'Mint' is probably my favourite. After me and my partner brush our teeth we like to kiss, it's something we have always done and just feels intimate. Again I can appreciate the lighting and framing, although I would like to possibly straighten the image as the camera was balancing on a towel rail. 

In my second scenario I wanted to capture our intimacy skin to skin without it being sexual. We enjoy just holding each other and it feeling so special without any sexual connotations to any of it. I wanted to try and see how we could create this by experimenting. Here are the results:

Touch

Stripe

Minute 

With the photo 'Touch' I wanted to capture the feeling of skin on skin when we lay together, it's such a relaxing and safe feeling. However when I first started this process I didn't want any of our tattoos being in the photos as I feel it directs the focus to them instead of the photo. Thus I am disappointed in the way I framed that on that image and should have taken more time to set the framing up right. The second image 'Stripe' I really like, I feel the exposure is just right and I enjoy the framing as it is very central but doesn't give away our faces. Even though all these pictures are set up, I still feel they appear candid. As for the last photo I thought it would be nice if we had a little more of our faces in, again I can appreciate the exposure, however the back drop I don't enjoy as much because I had to zoom out to get our faces in, and then allowing my chest of draws in shot. But maybe that is something I can adjust in PhotoShop or work on in the future with my framing. 

I hope you enjoy. Thank you. 

SELF PORTRAITS TEST SHOTS

With my portrait research I have explored the celebration of the female form. Both the photographers embraced the female as it was, baring all for the camera to pick up. This idea intrigued me, as I wondered how I could explore my form in front of the camera using lighting, framing and a good choice in lens.

For these tester shots I used a Nikon 50mm lens on a Nikon D90. I have a particular soft spot for this camera, as I like all the settings and how much control you have from white balance to shutter speed. I felt a 50mm lens was appropriate for this tester shoot because I wanted that shallow depth of field and intense detail on my skin. Overall I wasn't all that happy with the shoot. I felt I should have selected a better backdrop and framing. These factors I feel let the self portraits down. However, I felt the lighting ( I hasten to add is natural) I particularly love especially working with such pale skin I have. I was pleased with the lighting on my skin and how it created a slight darkness in the backdrop.

The task for the portrait was to explore identity and I feel that I am aware of my identity quite well having to face it everyday and try and find out who I am. I have on going mental health problems that also affect my body and what I do to it. I tried to display this through the next three photos.

Lines

 In the first portrait I chose to show some faded scars that have been an aftermath of some mental health issues I suffer with. Because they are faded I chose to feel positive about them healing instead of negative. The framing I personally like because of how much I chose to fill the frame and give you almost nothing else to look at but my skin and I feel a lot of empowerment through this. However the backdrop I don't like as it isn't as smooth as I wanted it. Previously I used to let these factors of my life define me, from my scars, mental health, appearance and weight. However, now I am making progress recovering I now view them as only a small factor of my identity but a still very important one nonetheless.

Untitled

For this second portrait, I am incredibly pleased with the lighting, despite it being natural and therefore out of my control I do really like the colours and dark tones. I chose a different angle on identity and explored the female form in a sexual way. Struggling a lot with self image and self worth I always felt not worthy of happiness or intimacy with someone. So exploring my struggles through this photo has been a challenge. I chose to reveal some more skin than just my thigh and the framing of the photo is carefully done so i'm not being too revealing but implying what the photos main focus is. The idea that the female form is so frowned upon for being explicitly displayed yet people wanting to view it.

Rise

In this last portrait, I wanted to explore my struggles with an eating disorder I have recovered from, but still have struggles with. With this portrait I love the shadows and highlights that touch my skin, displaying almost a glow on my stomach, but shadows where the dips of my skin and bone are. I wanted to display a very subtle message of the eating struggles, as I have struggled to gain weight all my life. But with the highlights and shadows encourage me to embrace my body instead of shaming and hurting it.

I feel I have identified myself an incredible amount through these three photos, through this self portrait project it has helped me to explore the use of lenses and framing. But, also a personal exploration of myself and learning that my form and the human form is all so different, unique and everyone has things they don't like, but to just try and embrace it and learn to love the skin you are in. Suffering with mental health for so long has made me believe that i'm not worthy of so many things, and has stopped me discovering myself. Having to face up to these self portraits and analyse them has been an incredibly empowering journey for me, I felt it may be hard to photograph myself and then analyse them with the harsh, negative view I have for myself, but the process of these self portraits has aided my self worth a great deal. I feel now, currently looking at these photos that we have to move on from our past, accept what we have been given and move on into the future to greater things.

I hope you enjoy. Thank you.